The Rona Diaries: Week 9

We Wear the Mask

By Paul Laurence Dunbar

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

       We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

       We wear the mask!

I feel like I owe this week more than a poem, but I don't have it in me.  The mayor of Los Angeles announced that the Stay-At-Home order is now a Safer-at-Home Order, which seems to be a change in name only.  Los Angeles residents are encouraged to stay at home at least until the end of July, and I fear that the same will be true for New Yorkers.  Throughout this crisis I have harbored a fantasy that as soon as my school year ended The City would miraculously open up and I would be able to enjoy walks around the Rose Garden at the Botanical Gardens, brunch at Restoration Hardware, and road trips with Roberto and the kids.  Now I am starting to accept that we may not even go back to school in the fall.  Chloe, who was such a trooper in the beginning, is now sulky and angry.

I am disappointed and I am scared.  I'm worried about what kind of summer this is going to be with videos circulating of vigilante "justice," botched drug raids, and police brutality.  Pent up male rage  and summertime heat don't mix.  Will there be riots?   I can't let my thoughts tumble down this rabbit hole because I have to keep my energy up for Chloe, Roberto, and my students.  So I wear the mask!